There are many commitment issues, and understanding them is the first step in overcoming your commitment issues. The first step in talking about commitment issues is determining which category best describes your situation. Are you a commitment-phobic, commitment avoidant, or a rigid believer that all relationships need to have some commitment? Finding the best ways to cope will help you stop stressing over your inability to commit and give you the chance to enjoy a healthy dating life.
The fear of commitment can loom so large in your life that it deprives you of the joy and fulfilment of having meaningful relationships. Unfortunately, people who have commitment issues don’t realize it.
Have you ever felt the fear of getting close to people? Do you fear making long-term relationship decisions, for instance, getting married? It might be a sign that you have commitment issues.
This article helps you understand the types of commitment issues and how to identify them and overcome them.
Understanding Commitment Issues
Commitment is the state where one dedicates themselves to a person, an activity, or a course. In relationships, commitment requires you to be willing to go through all the stages of the relationship together with your partner.
Dedication, in this case, translates to progression. A person who has commitment issues struggles to stay dedicated and finds it hard to take the following steps.
Commitment is not only a necessity in romantic relationships but also in other dimensions. Some people have commitment issues with work, and these are the people who avoid engagements on long-term projects at work. This kind of fear paralyzes or stagnates their career progression, and they tend to be not as productive as they should be.
Other people struggle with commitment issues in friendships. Building deep friendships requires you to invest time, energy, and effort. People struggling with commitment issues shy away from making such investments.
Types Of Commitment Issues
Commitment issues manifest according to one’s thought patterns and behaviors. In as much as people are different in how they exhibit their struggles, those struggling with commitment issues have demonstrated three common types of behavior over time.
If you find yourself dating someone with commitment issues, having this knowledge will come in handy.
1. Fearful Avoidant
These are the people who present their insecurity issues in an insecure manner. They are the clingy and needy type. They are in constant fear that they might lose their partner. Their insecurities make them display jealousy and constant antagonism toward their partners. They have a hard time trusting anyone.
2. Dismissive Avoidant
Such people showcase their issues in a manner that looks the opposite of the fearful-avoidant type. In a close relationship, you will find a dismissive-avoidant person wanting to keep their distance. They want to protect themselves from hurt after giving their partner so much affection.
3. Anxious Preoccupied
Anxious people are always doubting their relationship. Worried, preoccupied people feel like they are unworthy of love and affection. They are very clingy and are constantly stressed and anxious when their partner is not around.
Signs Of Commitment Issues
If you constantly avoid being in a serious relationship or devoting yourself to a given course, you must take a commitment issues test. It will help you identify if you have commitment issues. Again, by the time you finish reflecting on the signs below, you will have known if you have a problem committing yourself.
- Not being able to have a deeper emotional connection with your partner
- Ending your relationships when your partner requests commitment
- Getting into a deeper emotional connection faster than you should
- Speed up the commitment process by moving into your partner’s house, getting married, proposing, or having children
- Physical and emotional unfaithfulness
- Inconsistent behavior or communication in such a way that your partner gets confused
- You avoid talking about the future of the relationship
- You nitpick about small things
- You have a history of several short-lived relationships.
What Brings About Commitment Issues?
You could be a man, and you wonder what causes commitment issues in females and vice versa. You might have gone through the commitment issues Reddit displays and still didn’t get answers.
This is for you. You need to understand that the fear of commitment stems from stress in early childhood, a single traumatic experience, or the accumulation of events in adulthood.
Here are some of the causes;
- Parents having prolonged marital problems or divorce
- Media portraying the misery of committed relationships
- Fear that one may end up in an unsatisfying relationship
- Hurt from past relationships due to infidelity, abandonment, and abuse
- Unresolved emotional attachment
- Perception of superior alternatives
- Unrealistic expectations
As a lady, understanding the signs of commitment issues and what causes those issues will help you know how to deal with a man with commitment issues.
Overcoming Commitment Issues
It helps to learn how to overcome commitment issues to enjoy healthy, long-lasting relationships. Here are some helpful tips.
1. Understand Your Issues
You need to understand the root cause of the fears that hold you back. Specific solutions work for particular issues. If trauma is your problem, you cannot solve it the same way as someone who had a recent heartbreak. Understanding your problems will help you set realistic goals.
2. Know And Reverse Your Trends
What are the recurrent patterns in your relationships? Are you the person who jumps in headfast at the start of the relationship? Are you the person who wades in very slowly that your partner gets frustrated? Do you end relationships prematurely because of developing cold feet? Know your trends and begin working against them.
3. Communicate In A Transparent Manner
People who have commitment issues work hard to conceal the truth so that they can manipulate the relationship. They are also not good listeners, and this frustrates their partners. Practice transparent communication. Let your partner understand what you are going through, and give your partner a listening ear.
4. Change What You Can Change
Everyone would want a relationship where their partner agrees to all their opinions and requests. This is not realistic. Save yourself the frustration and stop focusing on changing your partner. Embrace the idea of introspection and change yourself.
Fear of commitment can torment you for a lifetime, derailing your progress in all spheres of your life. When you don’t want to commit to long-term assignments and projects at work, you deprive yourself of the chance to scale to greater heights in your career.
Fear of having deep friendships could make you push people away from you, and you could become a loner in the process, and that’s how depression sets in.
Understand what causes you to have commitment issues, face the problems and tackle them one after another. If you need professional help, then go for it. When you overcome issues, don’t forget to help others.