The dating phenomenon known as “ghosting” appears to be shattering hearts left and right. However, for those who exhibit particular dominating personality traits and qualities, this appears to be the only method they can use to end a relationship. There is no specific reason why people ghost, which makes it very irritating.
Although ghosting hurts, it should not render you helpless. You can get over it by seeking to understand why people do it and discovering their behavior early.
The best pointers on how to expose a ghoster include; passive behavior, being secretive, bailing on someone, and always pretending to be busy. These pointers show that you might be dating a ghoster. If the frequency of texts and calls gradually diminishes, that’s a red flag too.
This article will explore the behaviors and early signs that show you might be enjoying the company of a ghoster.
Personality Traits of a Ghoster
The following behaviors indicate that someone is likely to be a ghoster.
- They are Passive
It’s normal to desire to keep from hurting people or getting into awkward situations. Although it’s not a good reason to ghost, ghosters tend to be more passive and want to avoid conflicts at all costs. This may be a warning sign because they are more likely to end the relationship without saying anything.
- They only Focus on Themselves
Having a firm understanding of your unique demands is fine. But in a relationship, you can’t let yourself take center stage. Self-focused people are more inclined to leave if their demands aren’t met when they are intensely focused on their needs and wants than considering how their actions might affect others.
- They Hide Behind Texts
Contacting someone is quite simple. The likelihood that someone you’re dating may ghost you increases if they frequently hide behind texts or take extended absences on the pretext that they’ve been “busy.” It’s quite likely that someone won’t be trustworthy when things aren’t going well if they are not trustworthy now.
- They Gradually Bail on You
You spent each day and did everything together when you started hanging out with them. They would give you their time and be accessible at all times. Suddenly or gradually, that disappears.
They begin to postpone events and avoid contact due to their “busy schedule.” They don’t seem to have any room in their schedule for you. Unless you communicate first to inquire whether the plan is still on, you can hardly convince them to agree to another plan with you.
- They are Secretive
At first, a little mystery can be appealing. However, you should be on the lookout for those who are secretive rather than mysterious. These are individuals that, upon closer inspection, you realize you know very little about them. They’re likely to vanish unnoticed because of their ability to conceal themselves behind masks due to their secrecy.
Reasons Why People Ghost
There are no good reasons to ghost someone, but the following are some reasons people ghost.
Timing
People may believe they do not need to explain breaking up with someone if they have only recently started dating them. Unfortunately, ghosting frequently happens as a result.
Similarly, if you don’t communicate with each other for a certain period, they might decide that ghosting is preferable to picking up the conversation again with the express intention of ending the relationship.
They Stopped Prioritizing Dating
They might put dating on hold if life gets in the way. Perhaps they believed they were prepared to date, but their schedules changed at work or with their families. They might easily ghost you if something important happens to keep them from dating.
Diverse Options
In the dating world, one can get overwhelmed, especially when communicating with several prospects simultaneously. They may have stopped communicating with you because they were weighing their options and thought you weren’t a strong contender.
They Are Not That Into You
You’ve certainly heard a million times before that a person who likes you will always want to talk to you. They probably haven’t felt the vibe if they suddenly cut off communication.
There are undoubtedly much better ways to end a relationship. Unfortunately, if somebody isn’t into you, they might not feel the need to explain their decision to break up with you.
It’s Embedded in Their Style of Attachment
Adults can form attachments in one of four ways: disorganized, secure, anxious, or avoidant. All these, apart from secure attachment, are considered insecure attachment types. Avoidant or anxious attachment styles are associated with a higher likelihood of ghosting.
Anxious people often feel uncertain about their relationships, whereas avoidant people find intimacy uncomfortable and place high importance on independence. You can ghost if you have one of those attachment types and the desire to exit a relationship.
They Want to Stay Away from Confrontation
They choose to avoid a difficult conversation by going the easiest route. Even though it’s a cowardly course of action, some people prefer to cut off all communication rather than cope with another person’s upset feelings. They believe they can simply go mute and wait for you to catch the clue.
They Don’t Think It Will Work Out
People who strongly believe in soulmates are more inclined to ghost someone. When they see that things are not working out or don’t believe that you were “meant to be,” they might feel justified in ending the relationship without an explanation.
They Feel Unsafe
Ghosting doesn’t always indicate that the perpetrator has no regard for the other person. Sometimes it might be because of toxic behavior or abuse. In such an instance, someone can ghost, but they’re acting out of need.
How to Handle Ghosting
Being ghosted can make one experience a mix of emotions. When you’re ghosted, try these tips to get you past it.
It’s Alright to be Hurt
Ghosting causes a lot of pain. You could feel perplexed, incensed, heartbroken, and helpless after being ghosted. You’re free to feel utterly depressed about it. After being ghosted, people experience a wave of conflicted feelings.
It’s a type of silent punishment, which mental health experts have characterized as emotional torture. You essentially feel helpless. Before attempting to overcome ghosting, allow yourself to experience all the feelings that flood your mind.
Avoid Pursuing Them
There are high chances they won’t contact you again if they ghosted you. Make no apologies for them. They weren’t preoccupied or just “forgot” to reply. They will get in touch with you if they are still interested. Put the phone away and take any other necessary measures to prevent yourself from contacting them. Remember, they didn’t think you deserved an explanation for the split.
Know That There is Nothing Wrong With You
The last person you ought to blame if you’ve been ghosted is yourself. Your ghost’s failure to successfully navigate relationships is the focus, not you. When times are rough, they withdraw rather than speak to you about it. That’s not the kind of partner you desire. Although nobody is flawless, everyone deserves respect.
Take Self-care Steps
After ghosting, it’s an ideal time to indulge in self-care. Take a new pastime, begin a new workout regimen, chronicle your emotions, or spend time with the people you love. Make a deliberate effort to partake in healthful pursuits. Your ghost will fade into obscurity the more you take care of yourself.
Final Thoughts
People might express their disinterest in somebody they’re dating or chatting to in many ways. Ghosting, however, is arguably the most traumatic of all.
Ghosting certainly hurts, but it doesn’t have to render you helpless. You can get over it and move on by understanding the behaviors of a potential ghoster and mentally preparing yourself.
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