The current state of the dating world is beyond overwhelming. From the number of available dating applications to the ability to constantly swipe right, we have regular access to other people. It can be challenging to pinpoint their true intentions underneath layers of social profiles.
Spotting Someone That Doesn’t Want a Commitment
Those looking for long-lasting relationships know the struggle to discover what people genuinely want. It’s entirely possible to engage in a relationship with someone, only to find well into the connection that they aren’t looking for a commitment.
Spotting someone that doesn’t have any interest in committing is easier than you might think if you know how to spot a red flag. Let’s discuss a few telltale signs that someone doesn’t want to commit.
No Plans for the Future
If you find yourself in a relationship, casual or not, and your partner refuses to make plans for the future, you could be in trouble. Couples with commitment in mind make plans for the future, regardless of the timeline.
Whether you’re trying to plan a weekend getaway at the end of the month or secure a wedding date six months in advance, that person is unlikely to give you a solid yes or no answer.
They Already Have All of Your Commitment
Suppose you’ve committed fully yet find no advancement in your relationship. It could be because the person you’re with has all of your commitment and will not benefit from engaging further. This might come in the form of dragging feet when it comes to marriage or moving in together, or even something as simple as refusing to meet family and friends.
They Don’t Show Up When You Need Them.
If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t show up when you need them to, they’re likely not fully committed. When you experience loss, pain, or heartache in your life, you expect the person you love to be there for you. A lack of showing up (for no good reason) either means you’re on the backburner, or they’re just incredibly emotionally unavailable.
There’s No Sharing of Deepest Dreams of Greatest Fears
Couples tend to share their hopes and dreams. As corny and cliche, as it may sound, opening up to your partner deepens your connection. In turn, your commitment to one another naturally improves. Someone unwilling to share those deeper layers is a red flag.
Refusal to Compromise
Relationships are all about compromise. A person that refuses to compromise in any way, and prefers everything to work to their benefit, is not ready for commitment. When you’re prepared to give someone you’re all, you’re ready to meet them halfway in situations that will benefit you equally.
Avoiding Commitment Conversations
Bringing up the topic of commitment to someone who wants to avoid it will brush off the conversation. They might tell you that you’ll talk about it later or that they don’t have the time, but that opportunity probably won’t come.
The Way They Argue
You can tell a lot about a person based on how they resolve an argument. If you’re seeing someone who tends to bring you down during a fight instead of figuring out how to make things better, it could be for many reasons, and a lack of wanting to commit is definitely on the list.
Leaving Options Open
Dating someone that hasn’t cut off exes or still communicates with other people isn’t ready to commit to you or anyone else. It’s crucial to be on the same page when you’re beginning a relationship, and one person leaving options open is not a great way to do that unless the other is doing the same, which is rarely the case.
Friends and Family Issues
If your friends and family are uncomfortable around your significant other or don’t like spending time with them, that’s a telltale sign that something is off. It could be because your partner doesn’t show any interest in getting to know anyone, which is a sign of not wanting to commit. There is no reason to get to know your family if they don’t plan on being around for long.
A One Dimensional Relationship
So often, when a relationship is one-dimensional instead of all-encompassing, it could be because one person isn’t fully committed to the other. It doesn’t matter which dimension you’re stuck in, whether the connection is physical, spiritual, or emotional. The issue is that there is nothing to expand on other than what you’ve already clicked on. When a relationship is one-dimensional, it could be because one person isn’t opening up enough to reach a higher level of commitment.
Lacking Accountability
There are fewer frustrating things in a relationship than a lack of accountability or the inability to apologize. When one partner cannot (or will not) say they’re sorry for genuine wrongdoings, it forms a break in the relationship and points toward the issue of not wanting to commit. You can’t fully commit to someone without being able to take responsibility for things you’ve done to hurt them, whether they were intentional or accidental. A lack of accountability could be an undesirable personality trait, but it shows an unwillingness to commit in many cases.
Dealing with a Partner that Won’t Commit
First and foremost, you don’t have to deal with a partner that refuses to commit. Giving someone your all while you get nothing in return is heartbreaking. You deserve someone whose commitment to you is as deep as yours is to them.
It’s never a good idea to approach someone that will not commit with an ultimatum. Presenting them with a choice to show some devotion or end the relationship will not end the way you’re hoping it will, and why would you want to force someone to commit to you?
If you suspect that your current partner has no intention of committing, stop wasting your time. You’re worthy of so much more.
