It hurts when a friend, family member, or significant other betrays your trust. What you assumed, trusted, and believed to be true has been proven false. You’re left with no explanation and a sense of betrayal.
Betrayal can take many forms, including lying to you, cheating, spreading rumors, or going behind your back. The long-term ramifications of betrayal vary for everyone and at all levels of mistreatment. Nobody, however, can escape the pain and resentment left behind.
Acknowledging betrayal, refusing to retaliate, opening up to someone you trust, and expressing your feelings are just a few strategies of how to get over betrayal. If you’ve been betrayed, it won’t be easy to recover. You’ll have to figure out how to get over the betrayal.
This article will look at how to get over betrayal by a friend, family member, or in marriage.
How to Get Over Betrayal by a Friend or Family Member
A friend or family member is someone who looks out for you and supports you. The last thing you want is to be duped by someone who is meant to be on your side.
The following are helpful strategies for dealing with betrayal by a friend or family member.
- Acknowledge Betrayal
When you find out a friend or family member has leaked your secrets or slept with your partner, it’s devastating, yet you can’t believe it. You’re perplexed about how and why they’d do anything like this to you.
As a result, you find yourself in denial. Whether they did it intentionally or not, your trust has been shattered. Acknowledging the betrayal trauma is the first step toward healing and getting past it. Acceptance is the most difficult stage since it permits you to move on.
- Process Your Emotions As They Occur
In most cases, betrayal causes the victim to experience a flood of emotions. Don’t suppress the emotions, regardless of how tempting it is to ignore, avoid, or simply ignore uncomfortable emotions. Allow yourself to cry if you are sad and want to.
If you’re furious and need to let it out, try exercising or journaling as a way to do so. As you go through it, you’ll start to feel better, the anguish will lessen, and you’ll be able to move on from the betrayal.
- Make a Decision About the Future of the Relationship
After you’ve had some time to absorb the betrayal and work through some of the strong feelings, you should consider whether you want to keep the friendship and, if so, on what grounds.
The gravity of the betrayal and the sincerity with which your loved one expresses guilt are two aspects to consider. It is sometimes feasible to maintain a friendship with a family member or friend who has betrayed you.
As useful lessons are acquired from the event, it enhances the bond. Other times, however, it may be necessary to end the friendship entirely. In the end, only you can decide what is right for you.
- Be Willing to Forgive
Many people are hesitant to forgive because they believe it condones the betrayer’s behavior, which is not true. You don’t have to carry the emotional hurt triggered by the betrayal if you forgive.
Another common misunderstanding about forgiveness is that it automatically restores friendship. If you forgive them completely, you don’t have to let them back into your life.
You don’t even have to inform them that you’ve forgiven them. You owe forgiveness to yourself, not to the other person.
How to Get Over Betrayal in a Marriage
Marriage betrayal does not always imply infertility, adultery, or cheating. Betrayal can take many forms. The highest form of betrayal is when your partner runs into someone else’s arms.
Not prioritizing your relationship, breaking pledges and marital vows, emotional cheating, or financial insecurity are examples of marriage betrayal.
You might be wondering how to get over betrayal in a relationship if your partner has done any of these things to you. If so, keep reading this article for strategies for overcoming betrayal in a marriage.
- Refuse to Retaliate
Avoid the impulse to retaliate to overcome betrayal in marriage. An eye for an eye shades the entire world. You must be enraged with your spouse since they have betrayed your loyalty. It’s natural to feel compelled to inflict pain and suffering on them.
Retaliation is not one of the many helpful strategies to recover from betrayal in a marriage. If anything, it will just slow down your recovery. Don’t resort to betraying your betrayer, no matter how upset you are.
- Open Up to Someone You Trust
You may feel you can’t trust anyone after being betrayed by someone you care about. But, to overcome it, you must seek emotional support from your dear ones.
If you are embarrassed, you are not obliged to divulge the explicit descriptions of your partner’s betrayal. Simply express how you feel about the occurrence. Make sure you speak with someone who can remain objective and give you their completely honest evaluation.
You can always confide in a relationship specialist and inquire about getting over betrayal in a relationship if you don’t have a trustworthy confidant.
- Grieve the Loss of Trust
People grieve when loved ones pass away because losing someone close is a loss. It’s natural to grieve after being betrayed because betrayal is also a loss of trust.
When dealing with a betrayal in a relationship, be ready to go through the five stages of grief: disbelief, wrath, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Not everybody goes through them all. It’s even possible not to have them in this order.
Allowing yourself to grieve in your way will help you cope with the loss positively.
- Reflect Upon Things
It’s a good idea to spend some time engaged in reflection once you’ve regained emotional balance. Analyze your relationship, how things were before the betrayal, and what has to change if you want to give your spouse a second opportunity.
When you’re coping with betrayal in your marriage and trying to figure out how to get over it, it’s natural to believe that if you did things differently, your partner wouldn’t have hurt you like this.
While we can all improve, your partner’s betrayal is entirely their decision and has nothing to do with you.
- Have a Chat With Your Partner
You may be hesitant to confront the person who has wronged you. However, it’s crucial to speak with your spouse and tell them how their acts made you feel for peace of mind.
You can give them a chance to explain their side of the story if they’ve been requesting you to listen to them. Observe whether they attempt to rationalize their actions or express genuine regret. When speaking, use “I” sentences; don’t lose your calm, and do it graciously.
- Pull the Plug
You must pull the plug if you want to overcome betrayal. Ask yourself if this was your partner’s first betrayal of trust, if they are aware of the grief they have caused you, if they accept responsibility for their conduct, and have sought forgiveness.
End the relationship if this isn’t the first time your trust has been betrayed. You’re encouraging someone who continues to break promises and hurt you if you stay in a relationship with them.
Take Away
Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, the hurt of betrayal will dissipate over time, and you’ll be able to put it behind you. However, betrayal does not have to end amazing friendships or marriages.
It is possible to fix trust in your relationship and stay together if you and your spouse are prepared to go above and beyond.
