Shared human needs drive your past and future actions. When you meet or fail to meet those needs, feelings develop. Feelings and needs are inseparable. They are two sides of the same coin. Every message is a statement of a need, regardless of its format or substance.
For a more in-depth understanding of feelings vs. needs, you can form feelings and needs list, which highlights how you react when you meet your needs and when you fail. For instance, you feel alive, excited, and peaceful when you meet your needs. You feel angry, overwhelmed, and heartbroken when you fail to meet them.
You begin to accept responsibility for your intents and deeds once you make the connection between your needs, feelings, behaviors, and actions. You will also come to understand that you are not in charge of other people’s emotions.
Feelings and needs intertwine through non-violent communication components, including observations and empathy. By connecting to the feelings and needs that underpin your conduct, you better understand yourself and those close to you. Everything you intend to do is motivated by a specific need.
Types of Needs
Humans have two main types of needs;
Physical needs – Most of you are aware of the fundamental survival needs, which include food, clothing, shelter, and protection. Air, water, mobility, activity, illness prevention, sleep and repose, sexual expression, and contact with other living things are some more bodily demands.
Spiritual needs – Unlike bodily needs, which are often easy to assess, spiritual needs are broader. However, linking emotions to spiritual demands becomes crucial for communication and creates chances for personal development and liberation.
Humans have fundamental spiritual demands for order, beauty, harmony, and tranquility. Some physical and spiritual requirements overlap. Activity, exploration, direction, becoming, belonging, repetition, accuracy, exactness, communication, and creativity are some of these demands.
Non-Violent Communication Needs
An instrument for effective social change, a spiritual practice, and a language of compassion have all been used to characterize non-violent communication (NVC).
To change your ingrained reactions to life, NVC equips you with the knowledge and consciousness to recognize what sets off your triggers, accept responsibility for your behaviors, and develop stronger connections with yourself and others.
Components of Non-Violent Communication
Let’s look at some components of non-violent communication that will help you better understand feelings.
Feelings
Feelings are a manifestation of your physical and emotional experience. They connect to your met and unmet needs. Focusing on terms that depict your inner experience rather than your judgments of other people’s actions is the key to correctly identifying and expressing your sentiments.
When you communicate your sentiments, you continue accepting responsibility for your experience, making it less likely that others will mistake our vital messages for self-blame or criticism. This makes it more likely that they will react in a way that satisfies both of your needs.
Observations
What you observe or hear is what you identify as the trigger for your reactions. Your goal is to accurately, neutrally, and explicitly describe what provokes your response, just like a video camera may record the event.
When both parties are aware of the situation, the observation provides the context for your expression of feelings and desires, which may not even be necessary. The secret to making observations is to keep your opinions, assessments, and interpretations apart from how you describe what happened.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to identify with another person through speculating on their wants and experiences. An empathic connection can sometimes occur in silence, where you express to the other person that you are aware of their emotions and that their needs are essential to you.
Manifesting this awareness does not equate to approving actions that do not serve your needs.
Empathically connecting with someone is a way to satisfy your own needs, such as those for contribution, comprehension, or others. While doing so, we also hope that the empathy would help the other person with their needs and help the two of you come up with solutions that will help you both.
Needs
Needs are the things that are most vital in you, such as your core beliefs and primal desires. You can strengthen your relationships with others by recognizing, acknowledging, and connecting with your needs. As a result, we are more likely to act in ways that satisfy everyone’s needs.
Since you can break free from being bound to one particular strategy by discovering the underlying needs and considering alternative methods, the internal shift from focusing on a single approach to connecting with needs leads to a feeling of power and liberation.
How to Express your Feelings in a Healthy Way
The following tips provide the best way to express your feelings.
Spirituality
The self-transcendent feelings associated with spirituality have shown to be a source of strength for many individuals. If you need extra encouragement to express your feelings, it might be helpful for you as well.
Forgiveness
The opponent of expression is holding a grudge, whether you haven’t forgiven yourself or someone else. Releasing yourself from resentment can allow you to feel and think more positively.
Gratitude
It is challenging to feel grateful and miserable at the same time. Take time to appreciate whatever you have so that you can communicate your delight more effectively.
Acceptance
Try to accept the elements of your life that you can’t change. If you do this, you’ll feel better and have more mental space to express yourself emotionally.
Mindfulness
Whether through meditation, yoga, or breathing techniques, mindfulness practice supports optimism, happiness, healthy emotional states, and self-acceptance. Each of these results supports the encouragement of emotional expression.
Final Thoughts
You can more precisely identify your needs if you have more words to express your feelings. Every word tells a tale unique from every other word if you pay close attention to it; this story may include references to the past or the future, cues for other nearby emotions, and much more. By erasing these terms, you erase the genuine essence of emotion, including its variety, intensity, and potential.
It’s critical to pay attention to your emotions and the emotions of others. You forge stronger bonds by communicating your thoughts and feelings with those you care about. You must also pay attention to the other person’s emotions.
